Social Distancing for Your Filesystem
Description
A screenshot of a dark-themed command-line interface. The prompt shows 'admin@desktop ~ %'. A user has typed the command 'touch test'. Below the command, the system returns a custom error message in red-orange text that reads, 'Permission denied: touches are strictly prohibited due to the risk of COVID-19 infection'. This meme is a topical joke from the era of the COVID-19 pandemic. The humor comes from applying real-world social distancing and hygiene rules to a computer's operating system. The Unix 'touch' command, used to create empty files or update timestamps, is re-contextualized as physical touching. For developers, this is funny because it represents a clever, humorous customization of a system command's output, likely achieved through an alias or a shell function, blending a serious real-world event with the everyday tools of their trade
Comments
7Comment deleted
The new security policy is intense. Forget RBAC, we're on to PHAC - Public Health Access Control. Next they'll make 'rm -rf' ask if you've washed your hands for 20 seconds
Looks like the kernel’s COVID-compliance patch finally shipped - zero-touch deployment now enforced at the inode level
Next they'll tell me I need to sanitize my inputs and maintain 6 feet between microservices
When your sysadmin takes 'zero-touch deployment' a bit too literally. Apparently this system implements the most aggressive interpretation of immutable infrastructure - not even root can touch anything. At least they're consistent with their security posture: if chmod 000 doesn't stop you, a global pandemic will
When SRE mandated zero‑touch, the shell complied - “touch test” now fails with a COVID policy; OPA enforcing immutable infrastructure and workplace safety in one command
We asked for no-touch deploys; Security mapped EACCES to ECOVID and now even inodes are practicing social distancing
When even chmod 777 can't override CDC guidelines