When a COBOL codebase is inherited from your mum’s 90s commits

It’s that surreal moment when the “parent class” you just inherited is your actual mum - and both come with undocumented copybooks and some deeply coupled emotional dependency injection

The real Y2K bug was discovering your production COBOL system has been running untouched since your mother's last commit, and now you need to explain in the retrospective why the most stable part of your infrastructure is the code that predates your birth certificate

Ah yes, the classic case of 'extends ParentClass' taken to its logical extreme - where your actual parent IS the ParentClass. Nothing says 'technical debt' quite like inheriting a COBOL codebase from the 90s that was literally written by your mum. At least when the documentation says 'ask the original developer,' you know exactly who to call for Sunday dinner. Though I suspect the real inheritance here isn't just the code - it's the existential dread of maintaining business-critical systems where the last commit message was probably 'Y2K fixes' and the deployment process involves a floppy disk

True legacy stack: when “inheritance” hands you COBOL, JCL, and the runbook - no polymorphism, 100% bus factor

When 'extends Mum' becomes the ultimate single inheritance chain - with zero polymorphism since the 90s

COBOL: where the bus factor is your family tree - git blame points to Mom, and the DR plan is scheduled for Thanksgiving