Found a 11-minute voice note embedded as a Java comment in production

Description

Screenshot of a Java source file inside an IDE: after a try-catch block, two slashes begin a comment, but instead of normal text the comment shows an inline audio-message widget - blue play icon, waveform, “0:10 / 11:34”. Below, normal Java continues: “private void readMessages() throws IOException {” followed by an infinite while-loop reading from inputStream.readUTF(). The absurd visual implies a developer literally pasted a messenger voice note into the code to explain logic, illustrating catastrophic documentation practices and future code-review nightmares. Seasoned engineers will instantly associate this with unmaintainable legacy comments and the perils of mixing UI artifacts with source control

Common Tags

CodeComments Documentation DeveloperHumor CodingHumor CodeReviewPainPoints RelatableDevExperience

Comments

Anonymous ★ Top Pick Imagine the diff: +11MB binary blob, −0 lines of actual documentation

Anonymous ★ Top Pick

Imagine the diff: +11MB binary blob, −0 lines of actual documentation
Anonymous

That audio waveform perfectly captures what the CPU sounds like when this while(true) loop hits production - a continuous scream lasting exactly 11 minutes and 34 seconds before someone notices the service is at 100% CPU and the on-call engineer gets paged at 3 AM
Anonymous

When your exception handling strategy is literally just 'printStackTrace()' and a 10-second voice memo explaining why the production server is on fire - because nothing says 'enterprise-grade error recovery' quite like dumping stack traces to stdout and hoping someone's tailing the logs. Bonus points for the infinite while(true) loop reading messages until 'END' - because who needs graceful shutdowns when you can just throw IOException all the way up the call stack?
Anonymous

If your PR ships an 11:34 voice memo between // comments, the while(true) reader and e.printStackTrace() aren’t the only anti‑patterns - your documentation just forked into a podcast
Anonymous

If your PR needs an 11:34 voice memo and still ships while(true) with e.printStackTrace(), you’ve implemented Docs-as-a-Podcast and Alerting-by-Playback
Anonymous

printStackTrace in prod: Because EOFExceptions deserve a verbose obituary before the JVM joins the void
@ygerlach 2y

excuse me?
1. @kitbot256 2y
  
  I think you need to upvote this issue!
@theu_u 2y

*cough* *cough* *sssshshshshhs* YEAH TODO REMOVE HUHA *cough* *cough*
@kitbot256 2y

https://youtrack.jetbrains.com/issue/IDEA-332604 THIS IS REAL OMFG
1. @MrStaudinger 2y
  
  Wow
2. Deleted Account 2y
  
  Wtf😐🤣
@paul_thunder 2y

this one is better
@azizhakberdiev 2y

whoever made this, burn in a hell!👿🔥🔥🔥
1. @kitbot256 2y
  
  It is just an idea for now
  
  @sylfn 2y
  
  i won't use IDEA from now on then
  
  @kitbot256 2y
  
  Like we have many alternatives
  
  @sylfn 2y
  
  vim I have
  
  @kitbot256 2y
  
  Why are you offering a text editor for an IDE?
  
  @sylfn 2y
  
  I speak from my experience --- and I used vim as an IDE
  
  @kitbot256 2y
  
  “Using something to write code” doesn’t make it an IDE
  
  @Algoinde 2y
  
  But LSP does. Look up neovim
  
  @Araalith 2y
  
  He just likes the 90s.
  
  @kitbot256 2y
  
  Vim IMHO is a great product. But it is not an IDE.
  
  @Araalith 2y
  
  I prefer nano or mcedit.
  
  @endisn16h 2y
  
  you can easily turn it into one tho
  
  @sylfn 2y
  
  *she
  
  @Araalith 2y
  
  Everyone knows women are a concept invented by corporations to sell more pronouns.
  
  @sylfn 2y
  
  what the imaginary fuck
  
  @RiedleroD 2y
  
  that's a common misunderstanding. It's actually men that were invented by fox news to sell more ragebait
  
  @callofvoid0 2y
  
  sorry but you got it the wrong way humanity is invented to pay for turning resources into waste
  
  @RiedleroD 2y
  
  ah but that's actually a different conspiracy by big alien-recycle
  
  @callofvoid0 2y
  
  the whole creation is invented to simulate all of the possible ways that the real humans can be fucked up
  
  @RiedleroD 2y
  
  no it's just to entertain them
  
  @DrPratyash 2y
  
  Lmfao
2. @Saeid025 2y
  
  Actually it's quite good Like what if you suddenly got a idea brainstorm... Recoding a voice is faster than typing
  
  @azizhakberdiev 2y
  
  People need not to write comments, but read it. And you can't listen to recording faster
  
  @Saeid025 2y
  
  I mean in best case the voice comment is local only, who want to share voice files in source But the good thing about it is we can record the voice when we have something nice in our minds then type it later, or even better, use voice to text...
3. @SamsonovAnton 2y
  
  Telegram: 1. Enable voice messages. 2. Add speech-to-text recognition and make it a premium feature. 3. PROFIT! IntelliJ IDEA: 1. Enable voice messages. ⟨=== You are here.
  
  @azizhakberdiev 2y
  
  Google, which deployed a free service with real time voice recognition buncha years ago: 🥲👍
@Algoinde 2y

And Полина the chad coming in clutch to actually deliver the cursed implementation
1. @kitbot256 2y
  
  I hope she is joking
  
  @AlexKart20129 2y
  
  https://github.com/polina4096/voices I can't check it, but it's here
Deleted Account 2y

When TempleOS does this (full blown sprites inside code), no one bats an eye
1. @karim_mahyari 2y
  
  It should've come with a graphic installer and pro vs. community edition, so people would've thought it's a big deal
@Algoinde 2y

i think TempleOS batted many eyes
@mvolfik 2y

More accurate
@callofvoid0 2y

how the hell?
@mvolfik 2y

Introducing: do-if block.
1. @SamsonovAnton 2y
  
  "Female conditional" or "German branching". 🤪 P.S. This is how speculative execution actually works.
@Diotost 2y

What name was channel before?
1. @TERASKULL 2y
  
  Dev Memes
@Diotost 2y

How is it different from current name?
1. @TERASKULL 2y
  
  it's just one (1) meme now
@Diotost 2y

It looks the same for me
1. @SamsonovAnton 2y
  
  Looks good to me. 👌
@Araalith 2y

Actual code: .... val path = ".idea/${name}.wav" ... editor.document.insertString(startOffset, "// voice:${path}")
1. @hotsadboi 2y
  
  not entirely true but this thing scares me even more. I don't know shit about kotlin, it might be a feature as far as I know
@Ponywka 2y

It should be funny but... https://habr.com/ru/news/762758/
1. @sylfn 2y
  
  it is really funny

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Found a 11-minute voice note embedded as a Java comment in production

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