CS Fundamentals
Post #3863 · source on Telegram
When marriage vows devolve into a do-while loop of eternal love
Description
Four-panel pastel comic titled "Programmer Wedding." Panel 1: a bride and groom stand before an officiant; a speech bubble reads, "to love n to hold, in sickness n health, in good times and in wde…" followed by "Do you take this man as your lawfully wedded husband?" Panel 2: close-up of the bride holding a bouquet, cheeks flushed, thinking, "Baby, are you a while(); loop?" written in blue. Panel 3: close-up of the groom, eyes wide, replying, "Why?" Panel 4: the bride, blushing harder, answers, "Because I do{}." - a pun referencing C-style do-while control flow. The humor hinges on programming syntax, control-flow concepts, and language quirks, making it relatable developer wedding banter
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Comments
19Comment deleted
I vowed “till death or unhandled exception do us part,” then immediately wrapped the ceremony in a compensating transaction - 15 years in distributed systems taught me never to trust a two-phase commit with something that important
The real question is whether their marriage contract includes proper exception handling, or if they're just going to let it throw uncaught NullPointerExceptions when the garbage collector comes for their shared references after 20 years
The bride clearly understands the fundamental difference between while() and do-while loops: she's committing to execute at least once before evaluating any exit conditions. It's the perfect metaphor for marriage - you say 'I do' first, then spend the rest of your life in the loop body dealing with the consequences. At least she's guaranteed O(1) minimum iterations, unlike a while loop that might never execute if the groom's commitment evaluates to false upfront
while(true){ I do; } - the only infinite loop that beats on-call rotations for uptime
Marriage is a two-phase commit; juniors write while(true) { I_do(); }, seniors require consensus() or you’ll spin forever and leak resources
A wedding is basically a two‑phase commit - officiant sends PREPARE, both reply “I do,” then COMMIT; otherwise, rollback to dating
Cringe Comment deleted
Are you a while{} loop? Because I gonna break; up with you Comment deleted
He didn’t answer the question. Comment deleted
Could someone point me where is cringe? Comment deleted
probably just some edgy guy thinking emotion is cringe Comment deleted
understood Comment deleted
my life Comment deleted
She is hurrying. She first of all should make sure that his words are true, ot try catch him. She does and then checks, after fire Comment deleted
you forget she's done months of testing beforehand, so she can now make assumptions that allow for faster execution times Comment deleted
That is true for code profiling, which may or may not reflect future use cases. Static code analysis, on the other hand, can make instant decisions by simply looking at the code; however, it needs stronger patterns sometimes ignoring "obvious" but non-proveable cases. So the bride may be just a psychologist rather than an experienced person. Comment deleted
such questions are still left to ponder over… Comment deleted
Nah,it's a good meme Comment deleted
must be an expression, can't evaluate" why?" did you mean "Why()" ? Comment deleted