Jira's Unfortunate 'allopenissues' URL Problem
Description
This image is a screenshot of a real Atlassian Jira issue, ticket JRASERVER-65811. The issue's title is 'Change the string "allopenissues" to not include the word "penis"'. The main body of the ticket shows its status as 'GATHERING INTEREST', with the description politely requesting a change to the URL scheme from 'allopenissues' to 'all-open-issues'. The reporter humorously adds, 'I'm afraid that all we see currently is "blah-penis-blah"'. This is a classic example of the 'Scunthorpe problem,' where an innocent string contains an unfortunate or obscene substring. The humor for experienced developers comes from multiple layers: the juvenile discovery, the formality of creating a bug ticket for it, and most significantly, the infamous 'GATHERING INTEREST' status, which is corporate-speak for 'we will likely never fix this.' It perfectly captures the minor but irritating flaws in enterprise tools that developers are forced to live with
Comments
22Comment deleted
Status: GATHERING INTEREST. Translation: We've added this to the backlog, and it's now aging gracefully like a fine milk. We'll get to it right after we finish redesigning the logo for the fifth time
Nothing highlights that naming is harder than distributed consensus quite like discovering your /allopenissues endpoint sneakily spells “penis” in every audit log
After 20 years in tech, you realize the hardest problems aren't distributed systems or CAP theorem - it's naming things without accidentally creating HR incidents when someone inevitably removes the hyphens from your perfectly reasonable URL parameters
This is what happens when you concatenate strings without delimiters and forget that humans are excellent pattern-matching machines - especially for inappropriate patterns. The ticket has been 'GATHERING INTEREST' since forever, which really means it's in the engineering backlog purgatory where it will remain until someone's CEO notices it during a board presentation. Classic case of technical debt that's more embarrassing than expensive, yet somehow still unresolved because 'it's just a URL scheme' and 'nobody looks at URLs anyway' - until everyone does
JIRA's URL tech debt: so phallic-ly obvious, yet trapped in 'gathering interest' purgatory like every enterprise hygiene ticket
Proof that kebab-case isn’t bikeshedding - it’s a compliance control; skip the dashes and your route escalates from 404 to HR
All open issues → allopenissues: ignore UAX #29 and you’ve built a profanity generator - pretty URLs go NSFW and your triage board becomes HR’s backlog
people are retards Comment deleted
coming up with anything entertaining to not die from boredom Comment deleted
а Comment deleted
Nah, u can't. Wash dishes in the kitchen, weak and depended. Comment deleted
Барбара Стрейзанд? Кто это? Comment deleted
We speak only English here Comment deleted
horosho barbara streizad? Kto eto? Comment deleted
Idk Comment deleted
fuck i mixed up the chats lol Comment deleted
Barbasa Streisand? Who is that? Comment deleted
the Streisand effect is when the act of hiding something leads to more people knowing about the thing you're trying to hide. Comes from a rich asshole named Barbara Streisand who wanted a photo of her villa a guy took off the internet, tried to sue him, and in the process, the media reported on it by showing the image. Comment deleted
exacttly Comment deleted
Now the word from the meme actually makes new sence, if you put it like allo, penis sues Comment deleted
But it is really more clear😂 Comment deleted
unASSigned Comment deleted