Mom says I'm useful; I deploy an identity function to prove it

Description

The meme is split into two parts. At the top, plain black text on white background reads: "Mom: Ur not that useless. Me:". Below that is a dark-theme editor window with a blue tab bar, grey line numbers "1" and "2", and pastel-purple syntax highlighting for a two-line Python snippet: "def function(x):" followed by an indented "return x". The snippet is literally an identity function, conveying that the author’s contribution does nothing beyond echoing its input. Visually it mimics VS Code’s layout with wide black padding, reinforcing developer context. Technically, the joke riffs on shipping no-op logic, poking fun at code quality, minimal business value, and the self-deprecating feeling many seasoned engineers get when their work seems like a glorified passthrough

Common Tags

DeveloperHumor SelfDeprecatingHumor Python RelatableDevExperience CodeQuality

Comments

Anonymous ★ Top Pick Basically a stateless microservice: 99.999% uptime, 0% business logic - perfect KPI alignment

Anonymous ★ Top Pick

Basically a stateless microservice: 99.999% uptime, 0% business logic - perfect KPI alignment
Anonymous

After 20 years in the industry, I've finally achieved peak architectural elegance: a microservice that's so micro it's literally just middleware that forgot to do anything. At least it's stateless, has 100% test coverage, and scales horizontally
Anonymous

Ah yes, the identity function - the software engineering equivalent of that meeting that could have been an email. Technically correct, functionally pointless in isolation, yet somehow essential when you're building monads or need a default callback. It's the 'return x' that launched a thousand functional programming tutorials and made every CS professor explain why f(x) = x is actually profound. At least it's O(1) and has 100% test coverage by default
Anonymous

I’ve shipped identity functions with five microservices, two feature flags, and a full SLO - because even a no-op needs observability and procurement approval
Anonymous

The facade pattern perfected: abstracts away zero functionality for maximum indirection
Anonymous

Rebranded as the Enterprise Normalization Gateway - a twelve‑factor microservice that forwards x to x, complete with tracing and a VP’s OKR
@sylfn 4y

this takes time
@RiedleroD 4y

sometimes needed for callbacks
@abstract_factory 4y

const foo = () => { bar() }
1. @saidov 4y
  
  You forgot =>
  
  @abstract_factory 4y
  
  Forgot it is not dart 👀
  
  @saidov 4y
  
  What is dart
  
  @abstract_factory 4y
  
  Baby don't hurt me
  
  @varavchik 4y
  
  What is daaart? Baby don’t hurt me don’t hurt me no more
  
  dev_meme 4y
  
  Stop posting sound via text, you are mad!
  
  @NiKryukov 4y
  
  still better than a voice message
  
  dev_meme 4y
  
  Ngl you’re right
@unknown24907 4y

id in haskell is useful
1. @deadgnom32 4y
  
  id in mathematics is useful.
  
  @unknown24907 4y
  
  haskell is math
  
  dev_meme 4y
  
  yeah, but therefore its useful, like, everywhere. ppl just don't know about such abstractions, where it comes in handy.
  
  @unknown24907 4y
  
  omg linus torvalds
@dsmagikswsa 4y

We need IE retire meme
@abel1502 4y

It's (arguably) the most useful one in maths
@sylfn 4y

[Igor Markelov] > Voice messages > Are the reason > To be killed in this chat
@feskow 4y

You get killed for voice messages in this chat.
Deleted Account 4y

It's useful, called identity
@HellAbyss 4y

That's not useless, that's encapsulation
1. @RiedleroD 4y
  
  encapsulation is useless (usually)
  
  @HellAbyss 4y
  
  Let's go further. OOP is useless
  
  @RiedleroD 4y
  
  no, but much of the mindless 'good practice' that is usually taught alongside OOP is useless

Use J and K for navigation

Mom says I'm useful; I deploy an identity function to prove it

Description

Categories

Common Tags

Comments

More like this

Thotbot Out-Argues the Channel on Clean Code

Uncle Bob Won't Read His Agents' Code

Galaxy Brain Hardcodes a Beef UUID Forever