The 'Surprise' of a Cobalt Strike License Instead of a House
Description
A two-part meme. The top part uses the 'Man Surprising Woman' format. In the first frame, a man covers a woman's eyes with a caption: 'honey, do you remember the money we saved to buy a house ?'. In the second frame, he reveals the surprise, and she looks shocked. The bottom part of the image reveals what the 'house money' was spent on: a screenshot of the Cobalt Strike command and control (C2) interface, showing a graphical representation of a compromised network with multiple nodes. The humor lies in the extreme expense of a Cobalt Strike license, implying the man spent a significant amount of money (meant for a house) on a powerful cybersecurity tool, much to his partner's dismay. It's an insider joke for cybersecurity professionals who are aware of the tool's cost and its use in both offensive security testing and by malicious actors
Comments
24Comment deleted
He told her it was an investment in 'securing their future assets.' He just didn't specify which assets or whose
“Relax, I didn’t blow the house fund - I just converted it into prime real estate on the client’s domain. Cobalt Strike calls it ‘persistent foothold,’ I call it our starter home.”
Nothing says 'long-term investment' quite like explaining to your spouse that the house down payment became a distributed C2 infrastructure with redundant beacon nodes and custom malleable profiles - at least the persistence mechanisms will outlast any mortgage
The real lateral movement here isn't through the network topology - it's explaining to your partner why a Cobalt Strike license and OSCP certification are 'essential infrastructure investments' while the down payment sits in escrow limbo. At least the beacons are more stable than that conversation
That house fund? It's been PERFORM VARYING'ed into eternal COBOL vendor support
He couldn’t afford real estate, so he bought Cobalt Strike - now he owns the domain, just not a home
We skipped the mortgage and bought Cobalt Strike - now we “own” the AD domain and have more Windows than any house on Zillow
Isn't Cobalt Strike leaked on GitHub for a few years now? Comment deleted
Shitdows👎 Comment deleted
what ? Comment deleted
Did he spent all their money on some security software? And so what? What was his plan to earn even more money from that? Or earning money was not his intention, but just spending it? Comment deleted
It's a meme, bro Comment deleted
The point is "I don't get it, even after googling what the heck this piece of software is", bro. Comment deleted
It can be even a software for changing the color of silverware, it really doesn't matter. The clue of this joke is about its ridiculousity. Comment deleted
ridiculousness - still don't get why this is funny Comment deleted
I guess the thing is about the annual licensing of this software (about $4k/year) Comment deleted
If they cannot afford $4k/year, then how are they supposed to save enough money to buy a house? Comment deleted
its funny because expensive 👍 Comment deleted
Dude, thanks god you are. Now I am not the number one dushnila of this chat) Comment deleted
for yall my lovely niggaz, download+use at ur own risk <3 Comment deleted
what even is this Comment deleted
i never used security softwares Comment deleted
Cobalt Strike 4.9 Licensed c0565d03d5f6335311927c6f93f3f5689804da596e6734b1ac26bf4b12cc85ed verify.cobaltstrike.com Comment deleted
there nev version btw Comment deleted