When Your Performance Metrics Are a Little Too On-Brand

Description

The image consists of three separate panels stacked vertically, each featuring the logo of a major tech or telecom company above a line graph. The top panel shows the AT&T logo, a blue and white striped sphere, with a jagged line graph below it that cleverly mimics the circular, striped pattern. The middle panel displays the YouTube logo, and the graph beneath it is drawn to resemble the distinct shape of the 'You' text and the 'Tube' button. The bottom panel features the PayPal logo, with its overlapping 'P' letters, and the line graph below similarly traces the outline of the iconic double-P design. The humor is a clever visual gag, suggesting an absurd reality where a company's performance chart or data visualization perfectly mirrors its own branding. For a technical audience, it's a lighthearted joke about data visualization, pareidolia in data, and the pervasiveness of corporate branding

Common Tags

ProductionOutage Downtime ProductionIncidents Sre Monitoring Observability PagerDutyAlerts OnCallDuty

Comments

Anonymous ★ Top Pick The marketing team's ultimate KPI is when the Grafana dashboard for user engagement perfectly traces the company logo. The engineering team just calls that a sign the monitoring agent is stuck in a loop

Anonymous ★ Top Pick

The marketing team's ultimate KPI is when the Grafana dashboard for user engagement perfectly traces the company logo. The engineering team just calls that a sign the monitoring agent is stuck in a loop
Anonymous

Those identical downdetector squiggles are the universe’s way of reminding us that “multi-cloud” is just Latin for “we all share the same BGP leak.”
Anonymous

After 20 years in tech, I've learned that the only difference between a service's status page showing '99.99% uptime' and these graphs is that one of them is honest about what your on-call rotation actually feels like
Anonymous

YouTube's uptime graph looks like it's running on a Kubernetes cluster managed by a junior dev who just discovered horizontal pod autoscaling but forgot about resource limits. Meanwhile, AT&T's graph proves that even legacy infrastructure from the Bell System era can maintain better SLAs than modern microservices architecture - though both are clearly losing the battle against entropy at roughly the same rate
Anonymous

AT&T, YouTube, PayPal - our dependency tree in one screenshot; those outage sparklines are a live reminder that nines don’t add, they multiply, turning “99.99% uptime” into “we’re experiencing intermittent excellence.”
Anonymous

These aren't latency plots - they're your RSU value after the 4-year vesting cliff
Anonymous

Grafana is all green; revenue flatlines - 0.999*0.999*0.999 availability means step one: open DownDetector
@nedoedaev 5y

wat
@sashakity 5y

dont really get this one
@mvolfik 5y

america exblain
@TheBestTvarynka 5y

explain pls
@VladislavSmolyanoy 5y

чо так сложно
1. @Dobreposhka 5y
  
  no russian
2. Deleted Account 5y
  
  do translate
3. @VladislavSmolyanoy 5y
  
  “why so difficult”
4. Deleted Account 5y
  
  because
Deleted Account 5y

бля, сервисы попадали fuck, services going down
@VladislavSmolyanoy 5y

спасибо Spasibo
1. Deleted Account 5y
  
  its restricted too
  
  @UQuark 5y
  
  Nice totalitarian public Everything's restricted Ебал ваших мамок кстати
  
  Deleted Account 5y
  
  @RiedleroD Translate on russian its not the same with English. Here is "f**k your mothers by the way" from russian
  
  Deleted Account 5y
  
  @yuki0iq
  
  @UQuark 5y
  
  It's not translation lol
Deleted Account 5y

do not use translit
@VladislavSmolyanoy 5y

Okay I won’t
@Demiid2 5y

Someone explain this one
1. Deleted Account 5y
  
  this is a screenshot from service like "DownDetector"
  
  @solodkiy 5y
  
  So.. It's even not a meme!
  
  @grandpa_the_kid 5y
  
  Of course it’s not) everything is working really bad
@sadullaevss 5y

Тут почти все русскоязычные, хуль вы так выебываетесь ??
1. @viktorrozenko 5y
  
  I think the admin or at least a few mods are Australian, so...
  
  @sadullaevss 5y
  
  Русски маза фака русски
  
  @p4vook 5y
  
  Русскоговорящие aka russian-speaking
  
  @p4vook 5y
  
  I'm pretty sure admin is speaking Russian, because he has Slavic first name and last name.
  
  @freeapp2014 5y
  
  Yes he does
  
  @arpanetus 5y
  
  @RiedleroD how r u doing, my fellow australian?
  
  @RiedleroD 5y
  
  I'm Austrian lol
  
  @arpanetus 5y
  
  this is why I wrote Australian
  
  @RiedleroD 5y
  
  aight
2. @sylfn 5y
  
  Because this chat is international and everyone should understand each message
  
  @p4vook 5y
  
  Well, you can use open translators if you do not know the language
  
  @sadullaevss 5y
  
  *banned*
  
  @p4vook 5y
  
  Очень жаль It's a pity (with irony)
  
  @sadullaevss 5y
  
  Ibo nehui viebivat'sa
  
  @p4vook 5y
  
  chel krinzhyesh please behave
@Picross3D 5y

And what?
@NiKryukov 5y

Still waiting for telegram to implement auto translation like aliexpress disputes have. At least those "banning for speaking russian" would not be an issue
1. @sylfn 5y
  
  and how would you translate "племя гонит стадо"? (who performs the action - племя or стадо?)
  
  @iGrino 5y
  
  The tribe driving the horde
  
  @azizhakberdiev 5y
  
  The tribe is droven by the horde It is also can be translation
2. @ZgGPuo8dZef58K6hxxGVj3Z2 5y
  
  Or Russians (and others) could stop ignoring the rules
  
  @iGrino 5y
  
  There is no “No Russian”, we are not in Call of Duty
  
  @ZgGPuo8dZef58K6hxxGVj3Z2 5y
  
  Loool
@UQuark 5y

And you are стукач and крыса мусорская
@Frozen_Synapse 5y

Тут є українці? Are there any ukrainians?
1. Deleted Account 5y
  
  +
2. @RiedleroD 5y
  
  lots
3. @Dobreposhka 5y
  
  yes, there are. Unfortunately
4. @khamanich 5y
  
  +
Deleted Account 5y

Элитное подразделение Пояснительной бригады -111: По расчётам Мемологического Университета, мему присвоена 4-ая (красная) степень сложности. При осмыслении данного мема была задействована группа учёных-исследователей, занимающихся объяснением мемов повышенной сложности. СМИ предполагают, что ответ найден не был. Но, по рассказам Макса Арийцева, мемоведа 14 уровня, мем подлежит решению, но 88% людей не могут найти ответ в связи с модификацией структуры мемизма на молекулярном уровне и повышением значимости мемов в жизни людей.СМИ не дают ссылку на ответ. Как я понимаю, этот мем здесь не случайно, но здесь админ оставил нам догадку на белом фоне, что способствует деформации психики, отсюда выходит формула гравитационного радиуса Тg-2Gm/ 2с^2. Если подставить все контстанты и перемножить, получится так: Тg-m1.48*10^-27. А что же это означает? Физический мем, радиус которого меньше его гравитационного радиуса, называется чёрной дырой. Это означает, что всё ещё идут исследования на счёт этой хрени.
1. @sylfn 5y
  
  Elite Explanation Squsd group 111 explains. According to Meme University, this meme is in 4-th (red) group of difficulty. A group of research specialists who investigate advanced memes was involved while comprehending this meme. Mass media think that no answer has been found. But, according to stories of Max Ariytsev the 14-th level Meme scientist, this meme has a solution but 88% of people can't find the solution becouse of modification of memism structure on molecular level and rising significance of memes in real life. Mass media didn't give the answer. I think this meme is not here by chance, but the Admin left us the guess on white background, which contributes to the deformation of the psyche and from here comes the formula of gravitation radius Tg-2Gm/2c^2. If you substitute all the constants, you will get Tg-m1.48*10^-27. What does it mean? A physical meme which radius is smaller than gravitational radius is called a black hole. This means that research on this shit is still ongoing.
2. @sylfn 5y
  
  Remember to add a translation of your message to English
@choke_hazard 5y

And as usual comments are full of crying russian imbiciles who can't speak English. What a drama
@choke_hazard 5y

I guess with the next humanitarian aid USA should send them not only bush's legs but English dictionaries also
@nightshade17 5y

worst graph ever

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When Your Performance Metrics Are a Little Too On-Brand

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