When leadership finally funds all the infosec headcount you begged for

Description

The meme has a black banner caption reading, “Hey remember those roles we didn’t let you hire for? I secured funding.” Below it is a stitched screenshot of four LinkedIn postings from Uber, each with the Uber logo at left and bold blue job titles: “Senior Security Engineer - Application Security,” “Senior Security Engineer - Enterprise Security” (New York), another “Senior Security Engineer - Enterprise Security” (Dallas), and “Senior Threat Detection Engineer, Security Engineering (US Remote Available).” Every listing shows the green “Actively recruiting” badge and a red-boxed time stamp saying “3 days ago,” with applicant counts (19, 14, 7) on three of them. Visually, it implies an urgent, simultaneous hiring burst. Technically, the joke pokes fun at corporate budgeting cycles where security headcount is denied until after a crisis or sudden budget approval, highlighting real-world tensions between engineering needs, risk management, and management funding decisions

Common Tags

Security Hiring Corporate BudgetConstraints Career

Comments

Anonymous ★ Top Pick Amazing what a Sev-0 in the Wall Street Journal does to hiring velocity - overnight the CFO’s basically kubectl autoscale security headcount to ∞

Anonymous ★ Top Pick

Amazing what a Sev-0 in the Wall Street Journal does to hiring velocity - overnight the CFO’s basically kubectl autoscale security headcount to ∞
Anonymous

Nothing says 'strategic workforce planning' quite like denying your security team's headcount requests for six months, then panic-hiring four senior engineers the moment the board approves funding - because apparently cyber threats only become real when VCs write checks
Anonymous

Nothing says 'we take security seriously' quite like waiting until Series B to hire the people who could have prevented the breach that almost killed Series A. At least now the threat detection engineer can document all the vulnerabilities that have been sitting in production for the past 18 months while finance was optimizing burn rate
Anonymous

Great news: after the breach, our MTTA (Mean Time To Approve headcount) finally beat our MTTR - “Actively recruiting” in three days
Anonymous

Funding secured: because nothing says 'mature engineering org' like hiring appsec after the Series B leak
Anonymous

Security hiring is event-driven: publish('breach') and Finance processes open_reqs with a 3-day timestamp
@lord_nani 3y

Explain
1. @MarchukRoman 3y
  
  They got hacked (or leaked some info, I don't remember)
  
  @lord_nani 3y
  
  Yeah, makes sense
2. @callofvoid0 3y
  
  they never hired these roles IG
  
  @lord_nani 3y
  
  FiveHead
  
  @callofvoid0 3y
  
  huh ?
  
  @domokrch 3y
  
  guess he implied u r smart