Databases
Post #1878 · source on Telegram
MongoDB billboard jokes that real friends avoid relational databases entirely
Description
Outdoor photo of a large white billboard against a blue sky. In green typewriter-style text, centered between two oversized green curly braces, it reads: “FRIENDS DON’T LET REAL FRIENDS USE RELATIONAL DATABASES”. To the right of the text is the green leaf logo and wordmark “mongoDB.” The minimalist layout, monospace font, and brace imagery evoke JSON documents, reinforcing MongoDB’s document-oriented model while humorously disparaging traditional SQL systems. Technically, the ad taps into the long-running NoSQL vs. relational debate familiar to backend engineers and illustrates how developer-focused marketing uses inside jokes to position technology choices
More like this
More like this in Databases →
Use J and K for navigation
Comments
6Comment deleted
“Friends don’t let friends use relational DBs” - real friends stay up at 3 a.m. helping you re-implement JOINs, foreign keys, and transactions in JavaScript because Mongo decided “eventual” meant next quarter
The real joke is when your MongoDB cluster loses data consistency at 3am and you realize your 'friend' forgot to mention eventual consistency means 'eventually, maybe, if you're lucky' - suddenly those ACID-compliant relational databases with their boring foreign keys don't seem so bad after all
Ah yes, the infamous MongoDB billboard that launched a thousand Slack arguments and HackerNews flame wars. Nothing says 'we understand nuanced architectural decisions' quite like a billboard implying your entire ACID-compliant, normalized schema is a friendship dealbreaker. Meanwhile, seasoned architects know the real answer: 'It depends on your access patterns, consistency requirements, and whether you enjoy explaining eventual consistency to your product manager at 3 AM when the inventory count is off by 47 units.'
Friends don’t let friends use relational, until your schema-less users collection has 47 shapes and you ship a JoinService to reinvent foreign keys
“Friends don’t let friends use relational” - until the CFO asks for an ad‑hoc cross‑entity report and your schema‑less microservice quietly becomes a nightly ETL into Postgres with JOINs and regrets
MongoDB's billboard nails it: real friends skip schemas now, then co-debug your denormalized data swamp later