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When engineers brag about SSH access to your smart mattress’s firmware
Security Post #6590 · source on Telegram

When engineers brag about SSH access to your smart mattress’s firmware

Description

The meme is a two-part composite. At the top is a screenshot-style headline reading, “Silicon Valley’s Favorite Mattress, Eight Sleep, had a backdoor to enable company engineers to SSH into any bed,” with a small storefront photo of a ‘Sleep Country’ sign on the right and a grey ‘Privacy’ pill-button below. Beneath that, a blue-tinted portrait shows a sharply dressed man in a suit adjusting his tie, exuding the typical ‘sigma male’ confidence pose. Bold white, all-caps Impact text is overlaid in three blocks: “YOU GOT INTO HER BED WITH CHARM” across his forehead, “I GOT INTO HER BED WITH SSH” across his chest, and “WE ARE NOT THE SAME” near the bottom. The humor riffs on IoT security failures - specifically that Eight Sleep allowed remote shell access to customer mattresses - contrasting social charisma with unauthorized root access and highlighting the privacy nightmare of internet-connected hardware

Categories

Security IoT DataPrivacy

Common Tags

Ssh SecurityVulnerabilities DataPrivacy PrivacyConcerns SecurityFlaws

Comments

21
Anonymous ★ Top Pick Nothing ruins pillow talk faster than finding a company engineer running sudo chmod 777 /dev/heater from 3,000 miles away
  1. Anonymous ★ Top Pick

    Nothing ruins pillow talk faster than finding a company engineer running sudo chmod 777 /dev/heater from 3,000 miles away

  2. Anonymous

    While most engineers debug their sleep() functions, Eight Sleep engineers were literally debugging actual sleep - though I suspect their code reviews never covered the 'pillow talk' protocol or the race conditions that occur when two people try to adjust the temperature settings simultaneously

  3. Anonymous

    When your IoT mattress has better SSH access than your production servers, but worse security practices than a 1990s CGI script. At least when Eight Sleep engineers said they were 'committed to uptime,' they meant it literally - they could check if you were still in bed at 3 AM during an incident

  4. Anonymous

    Charm gets you guest access; SSH keys grant sudo - permanently

  5. Anonymous

    If your mattress needs a bastion host and a SOC runbook, you didn’t buy bedding - you deployed an unaudited edge device with prod SSH

  6. Anonymous

    Protip: if your mattress needs a bastion host, your threat model isn’t insomnia - it’s prod SSH to intimacy with zero IAM boundaries

  7. @drznpy 1y

    I’d be more worried about the fact that fucking mattresses nowadays runs a whole ass linux system and ssh

  8. @drznpy 1y

    In the year of the lord 2025 “i’ve jailbroken my mattress and installed my own linux on it” is a valid statement and that’s both cool and insane, though

    1. dev_meme 1y

      "Yes, I host my personal website on a mattress, so what?"

      1. @drznpy 1y

        If this was 2016 they would have used all the mattresses across the world to mine bitcoin or monero… the heat dissipation would have been a feture, not a bug

        1. dev_meme 1y

          Now they just train AI with it instead, I wish we could go back in time when people communicated via sticks & stones

  9. @MagikarPoweruh 1y

    Is it running Spring? 🙃

  10. @TheFloofyFloof 1y

    Mine Bitcoin on it Call it sleepcoin

  11. @callofvoid0 1y

    why would it need to have a fuckin os

    1. @mira_the_cat 1y

      why not?

    2. @mira_the_cat 1y

      os is a useful thing even for embedded devices, no?

    3. Deleted Account 1y

      Ask that to the guy that invented smart toothbrush

      1. @mira_the_cat 1y

        and all home automation

        1. Deleted Account 1y

          Yes

  12. @jaaaaded 1y

    can it run doom though

  13. D Y 1y

    Saw a commercial on the landing page. Damn I need this bad

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