Intern Pitches Uber But No Car Walking Buddy Feature for $7.50

Description

A meme showing an Uber-like ride selection screen with the caption 'Intern: Imagine Uber but no car...' The screen shows three options: 'UberX' at $56.76 (9:40am dropoff, 2x pts), 'Pool' at $33.42 (9:55-10:25am dropoff, 1x pts), and 'Walking Buddy' at $7.50 (12:08pm dropoff, crossed-out $20.25) which is circled in red. Below is a reply: '"Keep your eyes open for a 1994 White Kevin... he should arrive in 3 minutes"'. The map shows a Google Maps route to 201 E 39th St. The joke mocks absurd startup pitches that are essentially existing services minus the core value proposition

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Anonymous ★ Top Pick It's like Uber but we removed the car, the safety, and the speed -- investors, we're calling it 'disrupting the walking space' and our Series A deck is ready. Valuation: $2B pre-revenue

Anonymous ★ Top Pick

It's like Uber but we removed the car, the safety, and the speed -- investors, we're calling it 'disrupting the walking space' and our Series A deck is ready. Valuation: $2B pre-revenue
Anonymous

The service is codenamed 'person-as-a-service' (PaaS), but the architecture review revealed a critical flaw: the 'Kevin' instances aren't idempotent and have unpredictable downtime for 'bio breaks'
Anonymous

Great, now the roadmap includes WaaS - Walking-as-a-Service - because apparently the best way to hit profitability is to delete the CAPEX layer entirely and just ship pedestrians
Anonymous

After 15 years of building distributed systems, I've learned the hardest problem isn't CAP theorem or consensus algorithms - it's explaining to VCs why your B2B SaaS doesn't need blockchain, AI, or apparently now, why walking doesn't need surge pricing and a two-sided marketplace
Anonymous

When your intern takes 'move fast and break things' literally and pitches a peer-to-peer walking service - because why optimize algorithms when you can just optimize步数?
Anonymous

Interns: like Walk Buddy for code reviews - they'll show up eventually, but expect a sweaty merge conflict and zero context switches
Anonymous

Engineering swapped vehicle_id for person_id, toggled vehicle_required=false, and branded it WAAS - Walking as a Service; the ETA model immediately went out-of-distribution
@DerKnerd 10mo

Why would I pay for a walking buddy? I also don't talk to my Uber or Taxi driver, am I too German to get the point behind this?
1. dev_meme 10mo
  
  To help carry your luggage for you and chat with you 😄
  
  @DerKnerd 10mo
  
  But why would I want to chat to a random stranger? My issue is, it is not like a random conversation but more like a forced one, the person is getting paid to talk to me. This is weird to me. Carrying luggage tho sounds nice, but I would still have headphones on :D
  
  dev_meme 10mo
  
  you are doing so right now 🥹😛
  
  @DerKnerd 10mo
  
  But that is because I and you guys want to. I doubt any of you are paid to do that :D
  
  @drbogar 10mo
  
  I'm actually paid to do that, but I'm not very good at my job.
  
  @SamsonovAnton 10mo
  
  It's like a walk buddy and paid psychologist at the same time. Like Doctor Pal.
  
  @DerKnerd 10mo
  
  so I can dump all the issues on that poor Kevin and hope he won't kill himself after the walk?
2. アレックス 10mo
  
  Imagine you’re in Neuköln at 01:00 and you need to get home alive but don’t have the money for a car
  
  @DerKnerd 10mo
  
  But how says, that a random Kevin, maybe even an Alphakevin, can help with that? In Neukölln I would rather have someone who can actually protect me, not a Fittibro
  
  アレックス 10mo
  
  Maybe that costs extra
  
  @DerKnerd 10mo
  
  Dang, but then at least I get someone who can actually protect me?
3. @hyena_stuff 10mo
  
  People, especially women, are often uncomfortable walking in certain areas at night. Not saying the walking buddy is a body guard, but you're less likely to be assaulted if you're not walking alone
  
  @Algoinde 10mo
  
  armed robber:
  
  @RiedleroD 10mo
  
  lmao
  
  @hur7m3 10mo
  
  that's why you carry a gun
  
  @DerKnerd 10mo
  
  Aren't there statistics that show your gun is most liked used against you? And by the way, if you have gun, the robber HAS to carry a gun too.
  
  @hur7m3 10mo
  
  I mean, if you don't train with your gun, then you're fucked regardless.
  
  @DerKnerd 10mo
  
  That doesn't make that much of a difference. In countries where people commonly carry guns, the count of people dying from robberies is way higher.
  
  @DerKnerd 10mo
  
  That is a very good point. The part about not being assaulted is very true, but weren't there several reports that Uber drivers commonly assault women? So that wouldn't help that much.
@skrzyp 10mo

what are those prices, wtf, did he order 200km ride or sth?
@DerKnerd 10mo

If I wanted to take a walk for fun and have a buddy, I would ask my dad. Otherwise it is just about getting somewhere.
@Sun_Serega 10mo

White Kevin sounds like an SCP name
アレックス 10mo

I’d assume
dev_meme 10mo

can I offer you a bowl of soup?
1. @DerKnerd 10mo
  
  What soup?
  
  dev_meme 10mo
  
  chicken
  
  @DerKnerd 10mo
  
  and what type of chicken soup?
  
  dev_meme 10mo
  
  the kind that contains chicken
dev_meme 10mo

here u go ✨
1. @DerKnerd 10mo
  
  I see a classic chicken soup, always a good take
@DerKnerd 10mo

Whatever that means, but still if you have a gun, the chance you get killed is higher.
@DerKnerd 10mo

Yes, but real life shows clearly that you are getting killed way more likely in a robbery where both carry a gun.
1. @hur7m3 10mo
  
  So you would prefer to be defenseless? Typical european
  
  @DerKnerd 10mo
  
  Ah defenseless, no I would just like to live in a society, where there are no mass shootings every other day.
@DerKnerd 10mo

I prefer to live. But honestly, wouldn't it be nice to live in a country where children don't need to get shot when going to school, where school shooting drills are not a thing, since you don't need to worry about that?
1. @TheFloofyFloof 10mo
  
  Lockdowns were a thing my entire childhood, just recently did the name change
  
  @DerKnerd 10mo
  
  Do you get the point though? It is proven that a drill causes the same trauma like a real shooting.
  
  @pdsnrc 10mo
  
  this is certainly bullshit and I don't even need proof
  
  @DerKnerd 10mo
  
  https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/active-shooter-drills-are-meant-prepare-students-research-finds-severe-n1239103 there you go
@DerKnerd 10mo

I prefer free healthcare, proper sick pay for about 3 years of being sick and yeah, like not living in a dictatorship in the making. And don't forget that we have at least 25 paid vacation days and every sick day is paid off by default and not counted against PTO.
@DerKnerd 10mo

oh you are jobless, then you would get money here too

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Intern Pitches Uber But No Car Walking Buddy Feature for $7.50

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