C Programmer's Distraction: Alcohol vs. C++

C++ has constructors, destructors, and virtual functions. C just needs a beer function

C’s trade-off analysis: ++ adds templates, RTTI, and decades of ABI debt; 2H5OH just guarantees one predictable segfault - me, around midnight

After 40 years of undefined behavior and manual memory management, even Dennis Ritchie would understand why C is looking for something stronger than malloc() to cope with modern software complexity

When your C++ codebase is running perfectly fine with RAII and smart pointers, but you catch yourself eyeing that inline assembly optimization that *might* save 2 nanoseconds per iteration - and suddenly you're rewriting the entire hot path in C with manual memory management, justifying the 50-hour refactor for that 2-hour performance gain. Your profiler says it's not the bottleneck, but your heart says otherwise

Every time someone proposes migrating the 1998 C daemon to C++ for RAII and zero‑cost abstractions, the only C we ship that quarter is C2H5OH

C choosing 2H5OH over ++ - when you don’t have RAII, you rely on bartender-managed GC

C's reliable void* affairs pale next to C++'s seductive RAII - until the destructor bill comes due