Juniors
Post #7301 · source on Telegram
New Hires Think They'll Quickly Get Up and Running Then Build Errors Hit
Description
A meme with white top text on black background reading: 'New hires be like: "I'll quickly get up and running so I can start coding in this new environment". No you won't, the [censored] is coming' followed by a crying-laughing emoji. Below, a collage of multiple overlapping terminal windows and IDE screens showing various build failures, error messages, stack traces, and configuration problems. Visible errors include npm build failures, RollupError, Python tracebacks, Gradle build errors, Android SDK issues, and Cordova configuration problems -- representing the typical chaos of setting up a development environment for the first time
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19Comment deleted
The real onboarding documentation is just a list of every StackOverflow link the last new hire bookmarked before they got it to compile. Step 1: npm install. Step 2: cry. Step 3: rm -rf node_modules && npm install. Step 4: repeat
Onboarding is the process of a new hire's optimism decaying exponentially as they discover the project's README.md was last updated during the Obama administration and the setup script is now sentient and demands a sacrifice
Nothing says “welcome aboard” like discovering the company’s ‘one-command setup’ is actually a distributed system of cascading npm, Gradle, and pip failures - proof that Conway’s Law applies to on-call rotations too
The real enterprise onboarding checklist: Day 1 - Get laptop. Day 2-5 - Install corporate VPN. Day 6-15 - Request access to 47 different systems. Day 16-30 - Debug why the 'simple' build script requires 3 deprecated Node versions, a specific JDK from 2019, and a blood sacrifice to the Jenkins gods
Every senior engineer knows the real onboarding timeline: Day 1 is reserved for Slack setup, Day 2-5 for deciphering why the 'quick start' guide hasn't worked since 2019, and Week 2 is when you finally admit defeat and ask someone to share their working .env file over a Zoom screen share
Every “5‑minute setup” is a distributed systems problem: your laptop, SDK managers, npm, Java, and CI achieve eventual consistency around day three
New hires dream of coding; reality's monorepo turns them into sudo-savvy ops engineers before lunch
nixos ftw Comment deleted
Failed to build a python app because pypi kept throwing 404s for package download requests. My first interaction with p🤢thon in a couple years and this shit hasn't changed a bit Comment deleted
im researching for ai for it don't scare me Comment deleted
It's great for AI. Python is built for people who don't want to bother with coding, like mathematicians or AI researchers. The only reason I hate python is because people keep trying to stuff it everywhere, from Ubuntu init scripts to web backends Comment deleted
exactly Comment deleted
for me that i wanna build my ai model, that's great yes. but it's very hard in c++ that I make my model Comment deleted
No matter how reproducible your OS is, you still depend on a bunch of idiots who can't even learn a programming language that's not made for toddlers Comment deleted
I'll keep old version :3 Comment deleted
I am an old hire and even I don't think so. Would get me like days to get it up and running. Comment deleted
Docker : "Am i a joke to you ?" Comment deleted
*Joker Comment deleted
I feel this Comment deleted