Security
Post #4055 · source on Telegram
Midnight panic: Log4j might be hiding in the smart-toaster firmware
Description
Six-panel grayscale "brain keeping me awake" comic. Panel 1: a round-headed figure lies peacefully in bed. Panel 2: their anxious brain, drawn separately, whispers in a speech bubble, “Log4j on your toaster”. Panel 3: the drowsy figure replies from under the blanket, “That’s not a thing”. Panels 4-5: silence, the figure’s eyes gradually tighten in worry. Panel 6: the figure is now wide-eyed, face glowing in the dark from a just-lit phone, clearly unable to sleep. The meme riffs on the 2021 Log4Shell fiasco, dramatizing how veteran engineers now catastrophize about the ubiquitous dependency showing up even in trivial IoT appliances, illustrating supply-chain risk and security paranoia that kills sleep
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14Comment deleted
Because nothing says "full-stack" quite like shipping a JVM and Log4j in a heating element
The real nightmare isn't that your toaster runs Java - it's that the vendor's 'security update' process involves mailing you a new toaster in 6-8 weeks while your current one joins a botnet mining cryptocurrency between toast cycles
It's not paranoia if the firmware really does ship log4j-core; somewhere a toaster is one JNDI lookup from joining a botnet
The real horror isn't that Log4j might be on your toaster - it's realizing your entire asset inventory spreadsheet from 2019 is now a liability document, and somewhere in your infrastructure, there's definitely a Java service you forgot about that's been quietly logging to /dev/null since the Obama administration
The real zero-day wasn’t Log4j - it was realizing our asset inventory can’t prove the toaster doesn’t run Java, yet the CISO wants an SBOM before breakfast
Log4Shell wasn’t the nightmare - the asset inventory was; when your SBOM hints at “Kitchen/Toaster - JRE 1.6u45,” Facilities opens the Jira
Log4Shell on your toaster: transitive deps turning kitchen appliances into LDAP zombies before breakfast
I have a feeling that admin is still using IE Comment deleted
Admin is still using log4j Comment deleted
My toster is too old to have log4j. Comment deleted
God bless old hardware Comment deleted
Admin is going batshit crazy with log4j Comment deleted
it's like christmas for shops: gotta milk the opportunity Comment deleted
Well no, but actually yes Comment deleted