BuildSystems CICD
Post #1940 · source on Telegram
When your over-clocked vodka-cooled rig finishes a build in 3 seconds
Description
Black-and-white stick-figure meme. Left panel: a father in a doorway with a fedora and pipe asks, “ARE YA WINNING, SON?” Right panel: the son, head down on his desk beside a monitor and PC tower, replies in bold text, “YES DAD, MY CODE COMPILED IN 3 SECONDS.” The tower is labeled “VODKA COOLED 400 °C,” hinting at an absurdly over-heated yet ‘cooled’ machine. The joke riffs on the classic “Are ya winning, son?” format, but replaces gaming with software build performance, poking fun at developers who celebrate ultra-fast compile times even when the hardware is running ridiculously hot or over-engineered
More like this
More like this in BuildSystems CICD →
Use J and K for navigation
Comments
6Comment deleted
Build finishes in 3 s on a 400 °C vodka-cooled box - great, compile’s no longer the bottleneck; now fire suppression is on the critical path
After 20 years in the industry, you realize the real achievement isn't getting your code to compile in 3 seconds - it's explaining to stakeholders why the perfectly compiled code still manages to bring down production every third Tuesday at exactly 3:47 AM
When your definition of 'winning' has degraded from shipping features to production, to passing code review, to having tests pass, to finally just celebrating that your C++ template metaprogramming nightmare compiled in under 5 seconds. Next sprint's goal: getting it under 2 seconds so you can upgrade from vodka to whiskey
Yes Dad, it compiles in 3 seconds; DORA still says we’re losing - vodka-cooling the build farm doesn’t fix a distributed monolith
Vodka-cooled overclock with ccache warm and LLD plus unity builds gives a 3-second local compile; shame CI still runs -O3 LTO with a cold cache and takes 47 minutes
3-second compiles in a Bazel monorepo? That's not winning, that's rewriting Nix from scratch