When ‘eat half’ is implemented to the letter, programmer style

Description

Meme composed of two parts. At the top is a screenshot of a tweet from user @King_Chris_Jr_ reading, “I told my brother he can eat half of my grapes.” Filling the main frame is a plastic produce tray containing roughly a dozen grapes, every single one precisely sliced in half with the interior bitten out, leaving perfectly hemispherical grape shells of green and red fruit. Along the bottom in bold white text with a black outline it says, “Must be a programmer…”. The joke hinges on the literal, specification-driven interpretation - rather than eating half the quantity of grapes, the brother consumed half of each individual grape - mirroring how developers sometimes follow ambiguous requirements exactly but not as stakeholders intended, highlighting communication gaps and requirement ambiguity common in software engineering

Common Tags

DeveloperHumor CodingHumor AmbiguityInRequirements CommunicationGap Miscommunication RelatableDevExperience

Comments

Anonymous ★ Top Pick Product: “Eat half the grapes.” Senior dev: for (g of grapes) bite(g, 0.5); Architect: “Perfect - another spec that confuses cardinality with per-item semantics. Queue the ‘clarify requirements’ epic.”

Anonymous ★ Top Pick

Product: “Eat half the grapes.” Senior dev: for (g of grapes) bite(g, 0.5); Architect: “Perfect - another spec that confuses cardinality with per-item semantics. Queue the ‘clarify requirements’ epic.”
Anonymous

This is what happens when you ask someone who's spent 20 years writing unit tests to share their food - they implement the requirement exactly as specified, pass all acceptance criteria, and somehow still manage to break the social contract
Anonymous

This is what happens when you don't write comprehensive acceptance criteria. The implementation is technically correct - the best kind of correct - but the product owner is going to have questions in the retrospective. Classic case of 'works as coded, not as intended.' Should've specified: 'GIVEN a collection of grapes, WHEN sharing half, THEN provide 50% of the total count as whole units, not bisect each element in the array.'
Anonymous

Classic spec pedantry: mapped 'halve' over every grape for 100% literal compliance, but zero grasp of user intent - just like that 'flexible' API that breaks on every edge case
Anonymous

'Eat half my grapes' is why we write acceptance criteria - otherwise someone maps halve() over the array instead of take(length/2), and both are ‘technically correct’ until the odd-grape prod incident
Anonymous

“I said ‘eat half my grapes’; he implemented map(g => split(g, 2)) and ate one shard - zero off-by-one, perfect fairness, and a reminder that specs need units.”
@Demiid2 5y

LMAO
@flyingshine 5y

i don't get this joke seems like i'm a programmer
1. @SuperiorProgramming 5y
  
  This one is even better 🤣🤣😅
@fish_liqueur 5y

const grapesToEat = grapesTotal.map( grape => { return grape / 2});
1. @azizhakberdiev 5y
  
  foreach
2. @azizhakberdiev 5y
  
  Sure, but we could easily reduce number of grapes by half doing next: grapesTotal.length = +(grapesTotal.length/2).toFixed()
  
  @RiedleroD 5y
  
  memory leak
  
  @azizhakberdiev 5y
  
  It's js
  
  @RiedleroD 5y
  
  memory leak
  
  @azizhakberdiev 5y
  
  Why?
  
  @RiedleroD 5y
  
  because I can
  
  @Roman_Millen 5y
  
  When you code while you are stressed you'll start loosing your memory
  
  dev_meme 5y
  
  Hey, but jokes aside You still could make memory leak in js. And in dynamic languages in overall there is no problem to shot you leg by leaking memory
  
  @azizhakberdiev 5y
  
  JS has its own garbage collector which deletes all inaccessible objects and values.
  
  dev_meme 5y
  
  Yeah, and you, as developer, could make such a mess that GC will never clean shit after you
  
  @azizhakberdiev 5y
  
  I know what I do and gc does. It marks each object and value beginning from window (global) object to the deepest childs of objects. All unmarked values will be deleted as gc could not find access to them
  
  @azizhakberdiev 5y
  
  We can make memory leak only if there some kind of infinite loop which pushes data into array or sth like that, or in regexp which called catastrophic backtracking, but it is not so much memory leak as 100% cpu consumption
  
  dev_meme 5y
  
  he-he, it's much easier
  
  dev_meme 5y
  
  There is your entry point https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Web/JavaScript/Memory_Management
  
  @RiedleroD 5y
  
  jokes aside, can you just modify the length of an array like that?
  
  @azizhakberdiev 5y
  
  Array.prototype.length is get/set method. When we reduce it it deletes or creates elements
  
  @RiedleroD 5y
  
  what happens if you increase the array size?
  
  @RiedleroD 5y
  
  does it just create null objects?
  
  @azizhakberdiev 5y
  
  undefined
  
  @RiedleroD 5y
  
  aight, that seems reasonable
  
  @fish_liqueur 5y
  
  Wow, infinite grapes!
  
  @ZgGPuo8dZef58K6hxxGVj3Z2 5y
  
  What if you have an array with values in it, decrease the length, change the last one, restore its length. Are the ones deleted ot were they just inaccessible?
  
  @affirvega 5y
  
  https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Web/JavaScript/Reference/Global_Objects/Array/length
Deleted Account 5y

Hahahahah. Its like while ( not half ) do eat

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When ‘eat half’ is implemented to the letter, programmer style

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