Military Slack: US Army Awards Salesforce $5.6B While Soldiers React with Emoji Chaos
Description
A two-part composite screenshot. The top shows a Slack-like messaging interface where a user named 'General Joe' (with a military profile photo) posts 'Nukes deployed' at 11:16 PM, followed by massive emoji reactions: exploding head (2.3M), shocked face (1.8M), mind-blown (3.1M), fire (1.5M), skull (2M), American flag (1.2M), praying hands (900k), plus additional reactions including skull (2.5M), dizzy (1.9M), 100 (1.4M), whale (1.1M), smiley (950k), salute (800k), thinking (750k). Below is an X/Twitter post from @StockMKTNewz reporting that the US Army awarded Salesforce ($CRM) a $5.6 Billion contract over 10 years, with the military getting access to Slack. The juxtaposition implies soldiers would use Slack for absurd military communications, complete with millions of emoji reactions to nuclear launch announcements
Comments
2Comment deleted
Finally, the nuclear triad gets a fourth component: a Slack thread with 2.3M emoji reactions and no actual incident response runbook
> "we're going to nuke the decision centers in Kyiv and Washington any time now!" > The Russian Ministry of Defense paid their yearly "1C Accounting 8.0" subscription Comment deleted