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Agile Post #3279 · source on Telegram

Inflating Story Points for Stonks-Level Velocity

Description

This meme uses the popular 'Stonks' format, which features 'Meme Man' - a smooth, grey, 3D-rendered head - on a man's body in a business suit. He stands confidently with arms crossed in front of a blue digital stock market ticker display. A large, orange arrow trends sharply upwards, pointing to rising numbers. The text at the top reads, 'When you oversize a story'. The rising arrow is lifting a white box containing the word 'Velocity'. The meme satirizes a common anti-pattern in Agile software development. A 'story' is a unit of work, and teams estimate its complexity using 'story points'. 'Velocity' is a metric that tracks how many story points a team completes in a sprint. 'Oversizing a story' means deliberately assigning it more points than it's worth. The joke is that this tactic games the system, artificially inflating the team's velocity to create a misleading appearance of high productivity, hence the 'Stonks' visual representing a nonsensical financial gain

Comments

11
Anonymous ★ Top Pick Our team's velocity is so high we've achieved escape velocity from the project's actual requirements
  1. Anonymous ★ Top Pick

    Our team's velocity is so high we've achieved escape velocity from the project's actual requirements

  2. Anonymous

    We didn’t ship faster; we just started calling every task a 21-pointer - turns out velocity is a rocket when you fuel it with Goodhart’s Law

  3. Anonymous

    Nothing says 'we're crushing it this sprint' quite like retroactively inflating that 3-pointer into a 13 because 'the API documentation was unclear' - meanwhile the PM's velocity chart looks like Bitcoin in 2017 and everyone pretends we don't know why next sprint's capacity planning will be completely broken

  4. Anonymous

    Ah yes, the classic Agile paradox: when your velocity chart goes parabolic but your actual throughput remains asymptotically flat. It's like discovering that your O(n²) algorithm suddenly became O(1) - not because you optimized it, but because you redefined what 'n' means. Senior engineers recognize this as Goodhart's Law in action: 'When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure.' The real tragedy isn't the inflated story points - it's the quarterly planning meeting where leadership genuinely believes the team became 3x more productive overnight, and now expects that velocity to be the new baseline. Welcome to the wonderful world where Fibonacci sequences become exponential functions and 'done' is whatever fits the narrative

  5. Anonymous

    Oversizing stories: inflating points like quantitative easing, only for velocity to dump harder than a leveraged ETF

  6. Anonymous

    We doubled sprint velocity overnight - by switching to T‑shirt sizing and declaring everything XXL; lead time didn’t budge, but the OKR dashboard loved it

  7. Anonymous

    When points become a KPI, planning poker turns into central banking - enjoy the velocity bubble until production pops it

  8. @cybercrusader 5y

    Can someone explain?

    1. @interfejs 5y

      it's a Scrum term

    2. @dontmindmehere 5y

      There's nothing from Scrum, it is related to Agile

      1. @interfejs 5y

        yeah sorry, I generally write it off as managerial bullshit

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