TrumpScript: A Politically Incorrect Programming Language
Description
This image is a descriptive article about 'TrumpScript,' a satirical programming language inspired by Donald Trump. At the top, there is a logo with the letters 'TS' in black, with a stylized orange comb-over graphic on the 'T', parodying Trump's hairstyle. The article's headline is 'TrumpScript: “We hope our efforts will make programming great again”'. The text explains that the language was created by Rice University students at a hackathon and lists its absurd, politically-themed features. These include: all numbers must be greater than 1 million, no import statements are allowed (all code must be 'American made'), 'True' and 'False' are replaced with 'fact' and 'lie', error messages are direct Trump quotes, and all programs must end with the phrase 'America is great'. It also humorously states the language will auto-correct Forbes' $4.5B to $10B and is not compatible with Windows because 'Trump isn't the type of guy to believe in PC'. The humor is a form of political satire targeted at a tech audience, using the conventions of programming language design to parody a political figure
Comments
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I tried to declare a small integer in TrumpScript, but the compiler threw an error: 'This number is a disaster, a total disaster. We need a tremendous number, the biggest number you've ever seen.'
We almost rewrote the pricing engine in TrumpScript - no imports wipes out the SBOM, 1-million-plus integers solve rounding drama, and booleans named “fact” and “lie” perfectly model stakeholder updates - shame the runtime refuses to boot on Windows, which is exactly where finance insists on running it
Finally, a language where production bugs aren't your fault - they're fake news, and the real problem is that your dependencies weren't built in America. Though explaining to the CTO why your code won't run on Windows because it's 'too PC' might be harder than debugging a race condition in distributed systems
TrumpScript proves that even in programming languages, you can have strong typing and weak logic simultaneously. It's the only language where 'import' statements are considered foreign interference, and where the compiler's error handling strategy is to just keep asserting it's winning until the program believes it too. Bonus points for making 'PC compatibility' a political statement rather than a technical requirement
TrumpScript: Where imports demand tariffs, walls prevent leaks better than any firewall, and every parse error is just 'fake news'
Finally, a language that mitigates supply chain risk by outlawing imports and rejecting numbers under seven digits - isolationism as a package manager
TrumpScript: booleans are fact/lie, imports are banned, and every int starts at 1,000,000 - finally, a language that models enterprise KPIs: no dependencies, inflated numbers, and a mandatory success message
BidenScript, instead, has only 4 instructions : "uhm", "hm", "i dont remember", "my name is, uhm,hm, i dont remember". Also it includes special engine called "teleprompter", disabling of which makes it impossible to run the code at all. Comment deleted
Guys, please someone explain to me the last line. What does PC in that context mean? Comment deleted
Politically correct. Yknow the thing conservatives rallied behind to try ban metal and rap in the 80's Comment deleted
thx Comment deleted
They prolly should've banned rap tho Comment deleted
Two sides of the same coin, there's decent rap when you look past pop-tier stuff Comment deleted
All decent stuff I know is decades old Comment deleted
I'm a bit out of the loop too, but mf doom was pretty good, del the Funky homosapien is still coming out with stuff. Scroobius pip had some decent tracks but is just doing label stuff. Inja has been doing some good tracks over drum and bass, and even if dril is a bit too aggressive for my taste, it's still got talent there Comment deleted
That’s just you getting old Comment deleted