Networking
Post #7264 · source on Telegram
The TCP/IP Three-Way Handshake of Dirty Talk
Description
A Reddit screenshot from a thread titled 'What are the best NSFW lifehacks?' User blackdogwhitecat (1 Award) explains dirty talk as three steps: 1. Question ('you like that?'), 2. Confess ('I like it when you do it like that'), 3. Command ('yeah do it like that'). The reply by Ok_Independent9119 (3 Awards) says 'Ah the old TCP/IP handshake' drawing a perfect parallel between the SYN/SYN-ACK/ACK protocol and intimate communication. The original post has 3.1k upvotes and the reply has 708
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Dirty talk is basically TCP: you SYN ('you like that?'), they SYN-ACK ('I like it when you do that'), and you ACK ('yeah, do it like that'). If nobody responds, it's a connection timeout and you should probably stop
Proof that even in the bedroom you still need a proper SYN, SYN-ACK, ACK before anyone starts transmitting payloads
Finally, a use case for TCP's reliable, ordered delivery with acknowledgment - though the timeout and retransmission mechanisms might kill the mood, and god help you if packet fragmentation occurs
When your relationship communication follows RFC 793 better than your microservices architecture - at least here the three-way handshake is guaranteed to establish a reliable connection, unlike that eventually-consistent message queue you've been debugging for three days
TCP in bed: Reliable delivery with round-trip consent, but zero throughput until that final ACK lands
SYN: “you like that?”; SYN‑ACK: “I like it when…”; ACK: “yeah, do it like that” - textbook connection establishment. Also, it’s TCP, not “TCP/IP”; IP is just the L3 chaperone
Question, Confess, Command is basically SYN, SYN‑ACK, ACK - because in this domain anything UDP gets dropped and escalated by Compliance