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Mission control cheers as Oracle finally refreshes the ancient Java download page
LegacySystems Post #4452 · source on Telegram

Mission control cheers as Oracle finally refreshes the ancient Java download page

Description

The meme shows a crowded NASA-style mission control room filled with people in matching light-blue polo shirts. Faces are pixel-blurred, but everyone is visibly ecstatic - hugging, fist-pumping, some leaning back in joyous laughter - while computer monitors and headsets surround them. Centered across the top in large black bold letters is the caption: “Oracle finally updated the Java website.” The humor riffs on how rarely java.com changes, likening a routine corporate site refresh to a once-in-a-decade deep-space landing. Seasoned engineers immediately recognize both the glacial pace of legacy vendor portals and the absurd jubilation that erupts when long-neglected infrastructure finally gets attention

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LegacySystems Languages DeveloperExperience DX

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Java DeveloperHumor RelatableDevExperience LegacyCode TechSatire

Comments

42
Anonymous ★ Top Pick It took less time for Java to ship nine LTS releases than for Oracle to push that single CSS change - no wonder the ops room treated it like a Mars landing
  1. Anonymous ★ Top Pick

    It took less time for Java to ship nine LTS releases than for Oracle to push that single CSS change - no wonder the ops room treated it like a Mars landing

  2. Anonymous

    The real celebration happens when Oracle finally deprecates the Java browser plugin documentation that's been 'coming soon' since 2017, right after they finish migrating from that one internal system still running on Java 6 because Larry's yacht scheduling app depends on it

  3. Anonymous

    The fact that Oracle updating the Java website warrants a Mars landing-level celebration perfectly captures the enterprise software paradox: we can land rovers on Mars with more regularity than Oracle can refresh their documentation. At least when NASA says 'seven minutes of terror,' they're talking about atmospheric entry, not waiting for java.com to load modern CSS

  4. Anonymous

    Oracle updating the Java site: rarer than a non-breaking API change in a legacy monolith, yet somehow generates more hype than a JVM hotfix

  5. Anonymous

    Only in enterprise land does moving the Download JDK button 12px require a CAB, SOX evidence, and a mission-control go/no-go

  6. Anonymous

    Only in enterprise web: removing the Oracle login from “Download JDK” took nine CAB approvals, a SOX exception, and still 302s through an Akamai rule from 2012

  7. @flexypixar 4y

    wait what

  8. @N1KD1 4y

    No more 3 billion devices?

  9. @RiedleroD 4y

    …no? I don't see it

  10. @saidov 4y

    Boilerplate driven instance legacy code 🤙

    1. @scout_ca11sign 4y

      As java developer, I 100% agree

  11. @N1KD1 4y

    Morbilllion

  12. @ZgGPuo8dZef58K6hxxGVj3Z2 4y

    Whaaaat?

    1. @ZgGPuo8dZef58K6hxxGVj3Z2 4y

      Lol

  13. @ZgGPuo8dZef58K6hxxGVj3Z2 4y

    😂😂😂😂😂😂

  14. dev_meme 4y

    https://youtu.be/r7l0Rq9E8MY

  15. @SamsonovAnton 4y

    How is it possible to have 4 billion devices when there are only 7 million people on the planet? (Disclaimer: This joke is at least as old as "3 billion devices running Java" meme.)

    1. @RiedleroD 4y

      it's the microchips that they're putting in our blood to track us sent from my iPhone 7

      1. @SamsonovAnton 4y

        Ah, it must be the nanites injected in bloodstream during so called "vaccination": they should scale up to 1024 per person easily.

    2. @ZgGPuo8dZef58K6hxxGVj3Z2 4y

      I didn’t like the joke as much as the disclaimer

  16. @RiedleroD 4y

    🔫 translate 💀

  17. @SamsonovAnton 4y

    I would better worry about year 2038, if you are planning to live longer than 16 years more.

  18. @SamsonovAnton 4y

    Does Java have unsigned integers?

    1. @RiedleroD 4y

      nope

      1. @SamsonovAnton 4y

        We are doomed then.

        1. @Vlasoov 4y

          they also use final instead of const 😱

  19. Deleted Account 4y

    😭

  20. @LastStranger 4y

    And mobile version have typical css problems

    1. @NevermindExpress 4y

      Incomplete translation too

      1. @RiedleroD 4y

        I wouldn't be surprised if one of these texts is an image

        1. @SamsonovAnton 4y

          JPEG image, to be exact. 👌

          1. @RiedleroD 4y

            *bmp

            1. @SamsonovAnton 4y

              BMP with standard RLE compression and low-count indexed palette is not that bad for text, unlike lossy compression of JPEG which not only creates visible, ugly artefacts, but also bloats the file size.

              1. @RiedleroD 4y

                I thought bmp is entirely uncompressed

                1. @ZgGPuo8dZef58K6hxxGVj3Z2 4y

                  It is

                2. @SamsonovAnton 4y

                  It may use primitive counter-based repetition of successive pixels. This is, of course, no match for more advanced compression algorithms like those of GIF, TIFF and PNG, but still may save a lot of traffic for images containg text and other drawn graphics.

                  1. @ZgGPuo8dZef58K6hxxGVj3Z2 4y

                    Indeed that would make sense

                  2. @RiedleroD 4y

                    ah. Man, I love simple algorithms like these.

                    1. @RiedleroD 4y

                      which reminds me - I still gotta finish my… project

      2. @ZgGPuo8dZef58K6hxxGVj3Z2 4y

        They will fix it after 20 more years

    2. @RiedleroD 4y

      typical soydev CSS problems you mean

  21. Deleted Account 4y

    My eyes are bleeding

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