Oracle's Masterclass in Irony: A Webinar on Avoiding Vendor Lock-in
Description
A meme presented as a screenshot. At the top, against a black background, is white text that reads, 'Hey Siri... what's the definition of "ironic as fuck"?'. Below this question is a graphic for a webinar. The graphic has a light grey background and features the red Oracle logo at the top left. Underneath the logo is the word 'WEBINAR' and a red horizontal line. The main title of the webinar is in large, bold, dark grey font: 'Avoiding Bad Technology Choices and Vendor Lock-in'. The humor is deeply ironic and targeted at experienced tech professionals. Oracle is a company widely known in the industry for its proprietary technologies, aggressive licensing strategies, and business practices that often result in significant vendor lock-in for its customers, particularly with its database products. For Oracle to be offering advice on how to *avoid* this very problem is seen as profoundly hypocritical, making it a perfect example of irony
Comments
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I tried to join Oracle's webinar on avoiding vendor lock-in, but the registration required a 10-year, non-cancellable enterprise license agreement just to view the landing page
Oracle explaining how to dodge vendor lock-in feels like SQL*Plus suggesting you migrate to Postgres - before the last slide loads, you’ve already received a licensing audit invite
The only thing more expensive than migrating away from Oracle is staying with Oracle - but at least their webinar on avoiding vendor lock-in is free, unlike literally everything else they've ever touched
Oracle hosting a webinar on avoiding vendor lock-in is like a casino offering seminars on responsible gambling - technically possible, but the house always wins. Any architect who's tried migrating off Oracle Database or navigating their Byzantine licensing models knows this is the enterprise software equivalent of a wolf teaching sheep about predator avoidance. The real kicker? They probably charge for the webinar recording
Oracle presenting “avoid vendor lock-in” is the ADR where Context: per-core licensing and support uplifts; Decision: stay put; Consequence: seven‑figure exit cost
Oracle on avoiding vendor lock-in: like their DBA teaching you to escape a PL/SQL infinite loop with 'just rewrite in NoSQL'
Oracle teaching 'avoid vendor lock-in' is like a CSP explaining multi-cloud - the sample architecture ends with proprietary extensions, egress fees, and a license audit as the exit API
nu proprietary i proprietary Comment deleted
Oracle is our God, this is allowed for him Comment deleted
English please Comment deleted
Why do not you like java? Comment deleted
Because Java is oracle c# Comment deleted
Je but it came 5 years earlier Comment deleted
just like you in bed :P Comment deleted
It doesn’t matter Comment deleted
its the other way around😸, c# is microsoft java Comment deleted
Asking cz i dont like it too Comment deleted
Tried to create exe with sqlite db … Comment deleted
Very bad exp Comment deleted
Virtual Box is GPL though and that's the only Oracle product I use Comment deleted
isn't VMware by oracle? Comment deleted
vmware owns vmware Comment deleted
huh Comment deleted
I am being for real. The company is straight up called vmware, though broadcom wanted to acquire them a year back (idk if it happened) Comment deleted
yeah, I looked it up. Also virtualbox got a mad history starting with a tiny German company I've never heard of, which then was bought by sun Microsystems, which then got bought by oracle, within two years. Comment deleted