Blog Comment Compares JavaScript to an Anatomically Explicit Analogy

Description

A screenshot of a blog comment on a dark-themed website. User 'HaHa' posted on October 7, 2025 at 9:32 am. The comment discusses JavaScript's limitations: 'Access local storage, effectively use your CPU, use your GPU at all. Unless you find a zero day you're stuck with workarounds like uploading first, cloud storage or rendering in VRML.' Then states 'Main point, JS just sucks balls.' Below, highlighted in a red border box, is a crude analogy: 'JS is like butt sex. The claimed advantage is that it "works the same for everyone" hence better. Nope!' The comment is criticizing JavaScript's cross-platform promise while pointing out its real-world limitations with hardware access, GPU compute, and local storage

Common Tags

Javascript LanguageWars DarkHumor WebDevelopment DeveloperDebates DeveloperFrustration BrowserQuirks CrossPlatformDevelopment CommunityDynamics Webassembly

Comments

Anonymous ★ Top Pick The commenter's analogy is crude but the technical critique is solid: JS promised 'write once, run everywhere' and delivered 'write once, debug everywhere, access nothing the OS actually provides.'

Anonymous ★ Top Pick

The commenter's analogy is crude but the technical critique is solid: JS promised 'write once, run everywhere' and delivered 'write once, debug everywhere, access nothing the OS actually provides.'
Anonymous

JavaScript was designed to 'work the same for everyone,' which is true. It universally frustrates developers by making them write 500 lines of framework code just to ask the GPU for the time of day
@spacenuke 7mo

VRML??? Now there’s something I haven’t heard in a long, long time
@kitbot256 7mo

I heard this joke about Java in like nineties
1. @DerKnerd 7mo
  
  Back in the day