All the languages on your resume versus the ones you truly master

Description

Two-panel photo meme. Top panel: a carved wooden pen holder jam-packed with pens, markers, and a highlighter; white caption text reads “Programming languages on your resume.” Bottom panel: the same holder now nearly empty, containing only a single blue-ink pen; white caption text reads “Languages where you can convert String to int without Google.” The visual joke contrasts the long list of technologies people claim on CVs with the very few languages they can remember basic type-conversion syntax for without searching. It pokes fun at résumé padding, knowledge retention, and how a seemingly trivial task - parsing a string to an integer - exposes the real depth of a developer’s language proficiency

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DeveloperHumor Career RelatableHumor LanguageComparison LanguageQuirks LearningCurve DeveloperReality DeveloperSelfDeprecation CareerExpectations ImposterSyndrome

Comments

Anonymous ★ Top Pick I can quote the CAP theorem backwards, but the second someone asks how to turn "42" into 42 my brain launches a tab war: atoi? strconv.Atoi? Integer.parseInt? - turns out being polyglot just means being fluent in Google

Anonymous ★ Top Pick

I can quote the CAP theorem backwards, but the second someone asks how to turn "42" into 42 my brain launches a tab war: atoi? strconv.Atoi? Integer.parseInt? - turns out being polyglot just means being fluent in Google
Anonymous

After 20 years in the industry, I've mastered 15 languages' hello world examples, but still can't remember if it's parseInt(), int.Parse(), Integer.valueOf(), or atoi() without checking - yet somehow my resume claims 'expert-level proficiency' in all of them
Anonymous

The brutal truth every senior engineer knows: you can claim fluency in a dozen languages on your resume, but the real test is whether you can write `parseInt()`, `int.Parse()`, `Integer.parseInt()`, or `std::stoi()` without opening a new tab. We've all been that architect in a design review who confidently discusses polyglot microservices architecture, then quietly Googles 'python string to int' when actually implementing the service. The gap between 'I've shipped production code in this' and 'I can write a for-loop without Stack Overflow' is the difference between a pen collection and that one reliable Bic you actually use
Anonymous

Polyglot resumes dazzle with rainbows, but prod code only trusts the black pen that parses strings from muscle memory - no Stack Overflow required
Anonymous

Resume says polyglot; the String→int test says polygoogler. If you can’t recall whether it’s atoi, stoi, Integer.parseInt, strconv.Atoi, or s.parse::<i32>(), you haven’t shipped with that language
Anonymous

My CV lists 12 languages; in prod my L1 cache remembers exactly three conversions - int(s), parseInt, and stoi - everything else page‑faults to Google
@tarasanichin 3y

😂
@ilovethicktights 3y

imho that's supposed to be sad, but at the same time its funny
扇子 3y

a = "5" a = int(a)
@LionElJonson 3y

python, which is not even my primary 🥲
@saidov 3y

while writing in a less familiar language, I always try putting + before the variable to see if this works out: +a It works only in the damn JS
1. @dsmagikswsa 3y
  
  I always choose Number(a) instead. Readability is more important
2. @ZgGPuo8dZef58K6hxxGVj3Z2 3y
  
  😂😂😂😂💀
3. @gizlu 3y
  
  In awk there is similar hack with str+0
@mekosko 3y

"0".parse::<i32>().unwrap()
@azizhakberdiev 3y

C++: wtf are u talking about?
Deleted Account 3y

C programmers be like:
1. @LycanAnanas 3y
  
  atoi()
  
  @viktorrozenko 3y
  
  Do you remember its parameters tho?
  
  @LycanAnanas 3y
  
  just char*
  
  @viktorrozenko 3y
  
  Oh, right, it's itoa that was a pain in the ass
  
  @Stepan_Poznyak 3y
  
  And stoi()
@LycanAnanas 3y

returns int
@LycanAnanas 3y

as i remember errors are in errno
@LycanAnanas 3y

you can use sprintf it is easier
1. @SamsonovAnton 3y
  
  Perhaps you meant sscanf?
  
  @LycanAnanas 3y
  
  As int to char* conv?
  
  @SamsonovAnton 3y
  
  As char* to int conversion, like stated in the meme.
  
  @LycanAnanas 3y
  
  I prefer atoi but yes sscanf is beter. But some one removed his comment with itoa..
@theu_u 3y

t = "1" as any as number Duck typing😶‍🌫
@LycanAnanas 3y

and this comment was to his replay..
@ZgGPuo8dZef58K6hxxGVj3Z2 3y

(-(-“13”))
1. @ZgGPuo8dZef58K6hxxGVj3Z2 3y
  
  I am just kidding dont cancel me
  
  @NiKryukov 3y
  
  Maan can you send me your avatar? It's so hot and tasty
@SamsonovAnton 3y

!!(-(-"1")) @lokot0k, this is the definitive answer to your recent question. https://t.me/dev_meme/5002?comment=70693
@NiKryukov 3y

Wow thanks
𝙳𝚖𝚢𝚝𝚛𝚘 𝙼𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚔𝚘 3y

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. For any bugs and issues contact @dacoconutchemist
1. @NiKryukov 3y
  
  *grateful beep beep boop boop*
2. @callofvoid0 3y
  
  Seems like its finally working and we dont have to press the red button again
@determ1n3d 3y

to_string(5) in cpp
1. @sylfn 3y
  
  other way (str -> int) C++: #include <sstream> int string_to_int(const string &s) { istringstream ss(s); int val; ss >> val; return val; }
  
  @determ1n3d 3y
  
  wasnt there a stoi func?
  
  @sylfn 3y
  
  idk, probably there is 🤷
@determ1n3d 3y

i mean, we can't use google, but we can probably use stackoverflow's own search?

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All the languages on your resume versus the ones you truly master

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