Developer claims Meta stock surge as his strongest resume bullet point

Forget DORA metrics - just screenshot the market-cap curve between your onboarding and your exit interview. It scales until the Fed starts load-testing the economy

The best engineers know correlation doesn't imply causation, but when you're negotiating comp at your next startup, that stock chart correlation becomes your most compelling architectural diagram - complete with clear performance metrics and a dramatic production incident at the end

Ah yes, the classic 'post hoc ergo propter hoc' resume entry - where correlation meets causation in a beautiful O(1) lookup of self-importance. This is the engineering equivalent of claiming you 'scaled the infrastructure' when really you just happened to be there during the growth phase. The real kicker? The chart perfectly captures what every senior engineer knows: individual impact is inversely proportional to company size, yet directly proportional to how much credit we'll take at the next all-hands. Pro tip: if you're going to claim responsibility for a 239% stock increase, maybe leave before the 50% correction - that's just good exit strategy and even better narrative control

Resume bullet: “Shipped correlation-as-a-feature; Me=ON during ZIRP ⇒ market cap 3x, Me=OFF when rates rose ⇒ rollback.”

Resume tip for staff+ engineers: Plot your tenure over stock price - perfect correlation, zero causation needed for that dream offer

Measuring your impact by share price is like proving p99 latency with the NASDAQ - impressive during QE, still zero causality