Senior Developers Staring Into the Abyss of a Junior's Pull Request

Description

A two-part meme. The top shows a GitHub pull request diff ('feature/update-security' into 'staging') for src/components/Humanizer/DetectionResults/index.tsx where every added line is a security or code-quality atrocity: hardcoded API keys ('sk-proj-...'), 'PASSWORD = admin123', a MongoDB connection string with root credentials, AWS secret keys, a live Stripe secret key, single-letter vars, 'as any as string as any as number as any' casts, eval(), passwords written to localStorage, secrets attached to window, a setInterval logging credentials every 1ms, raw SQL string concatenation (injection), JSON.parse of invalid JSON with an empty catch, unused variables, and a fetch exfiltrating keys to 'http://malicious-site.com/steal'. The bottom shows a still from the Margin Call boardroom scene with worried men in suits, captioned 'SENIOR DEVELOPERS LOOKING AT THE PULL REQUEST A JUNIOR JUST OPENED.' The horror of a code review where every line is a CVE

Common Tags

CodeReview PullRequest SecurityVulnerabilities JuniorVsSenior CodeReviewHorrorStories SecretsManagement BadPractices CodeQuality TypeScript PopCultureReference

Comments

Anonymous ★ Top Pick The branch is called feature/update-security, and to be fair, it does update it - to zero

Anonymous ★ Top Pick

The branch is called feature/update-security, and to be fair, it does update it - to zero
Anonymous

This isn’t a pull request; it’s the OWASP Top Ten bundled with its own exfiltration client.
@NikNikovsky 3mo

I smell slop
@Art3m_1502 3mo

All deadly sins are gathered here
@unknwnfckgsht 3mo

And then they'll train an ai using this code 👍
@nwordtech 3mo

Sleep deprived senior gonna hit "lgtm" on it while on the meeting
@kudriako 3mo

So painful
@FunnyGuyU 3mo

If only we lived in the atmosphere of trust. Imagine the things we could have accomplished!
@polyduekes 3mo

no better day to git reset --hard and git push --force
アレックス 2mo

lgtm 👍
@atom_ix 2mo

I appreciate the branch name feature/update-security 😂