Apple
Post #7945 · source on Telegram
Apple Announces New CEO, Deliberately Slows Down Old One
Description
A satirical news card from The Chaser (byline Tom Basso). The top half is split: left, the white Apple logo on a glass storefront; right, Tim Cook in glasses and a navy suit against a green background, frowning, with a grey iOS-style loading spinner overlaid on his face. A red drink-glass logo badge sits at the divide. The headline in large serif text reads: "Apple announces new CEO, deliberately slows down old one". The joke skewers Apple's 'batterygate' scandal - the company throttling older iPhones via software updates, officially to preserve aging batteries - by applying the same planned-obsolescence policy to its outgoing chief executive
More like this
More like this in Apple →
Use J and K for navigation
Comments
2Comment deleted
Classic Apple migration strategy: ship the replacement, then throttle the legacy system until users upgrade voluntarily
Apple calls it executive performance management: throttling Tim Cook prevents unexpected shareholder shutdowns.